The science of sex drive and sexual frustration from Dr. Emily Nagoski. Subscribe to Big Think on YouTube ► Up next, Good sex explained in 9 minutes ► Is our desire for sex fundamentally similar to our drive for necessities like food, water, and sleep? Sex educator Emily Nagoski argues that the answer is no. Although a lack of sex can lead to frustration, this feeling is fundamentally different from what we experience when deprived of the biological necessities of life. After all, nobody has ever died from a lack of sex. The implication is that common ideas about the existence of a “sex drive” are flawed. Check out this Big Think interview with Nagoski to learn more about the nature of sexual desire, and why pursuing connection and pleasure might be better than pursuing sex itself. 0:00 Why sex is not a biological “drive” 1:42 Sexual frustration on the other hand… 3:48 The damage of the “sex drive” myth ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Emily Nagoski: Emily Nagoski is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. She earned an M.S. in counseling and a Ph.D. in health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Read more of our stories on sex: Orgasm gap: The insidious reason women have fewer orgasms than men ► Kama Sutra isn’t just about sex. It’s a guidebook for pleasure ► What makes for a “great” sex life? ► ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Big Think | Smarter Faster™ ► Big Think Our mission is to make you smarter, faster. Watch interviews with the world’s biggest thinkers on science, philosophy, business, and more. ► Big Think+ Looking to ignite a learning culture at your company? Prepare your workforce for the future with educational courses from the world’s biggest thinkers. Trusted by Ford, Marriot, Bank of America, and many more. 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Aired: May 11, 2025